Business isn’t always smooth sailing, but it’s especially anxiety-inducing now because of how the lockdowns have impacted a lot of industries. Market uncertainty can cause a lot of business leaders inordinate amounts of stress and frustration, which can make you a little less sympathetic than usual.

While you may be feeling a lot of understandable pressure and aren’t as patient as you normally are, you need to be able to examine yourself and see just how differently you’re acting, responding, and communicating, especially towards your staff. As a business leader, you have to be self-reflexive about your feelings and how they are manifesting in your interactions with your employees. 

If your emotions are left unchecked, your leadership style can be affected and become incredibly intimidating while your staff feel like they have no way to tell you that. 

An intimidating leader can come off as frightening to their staff, causing them to be unproductive, burnt out, and hesitant. Even if you don’t mean to be intimidating, a negative, threatening aura can harm your business if you don’t make the proper adjustments, driving away your employees and leaving you confused because you don’t know what’s wrong. 

As a business leader, you need to be aware of how you’re perceived not just by your peers, but by your employees. Once you’ve got a good grasp on how your staff see you, you can make the changes you see fit to become a reliable, welcoming figure and inspiring leader to them. 

Why is being intimidating counterproductive?

Leading by fear instead of example, no matter how unwitting, can be ineffective and will slow your business down. If your staff is too afraid to give you feedback or tell you that something isn’t working, there’ll be no way to remedy situations that you don’t know are problematic.

Your employees will feel like they need to tiptoe around you, unable to express themselves if their opinion opposes yours. They’ll be less inclined to have productive conversations with you and won’t want to give you either constructive or negative feedback.

Intimidation goes beyond your employees just clamming up at the sight of you, it’ll also cause them undue stress and mental or emotional fatigue. That stress can cause them to burn out, turn in subpar work, or even want to resign. They may also leave with long-lasting impacts to their mental health, exacerbating the possibilities of anxiety or even depression and making them less inclined to trust a supervisor in the future. 

Your staff will no longer want to succeed and find avenues to grow and will instead just want to avoid mistakes out of fear of failure and inciting your frustration. They’re no longer being led by influence or by an inspiring leader, but by the hopes of not disappointing you. 

Whether it’s through your body language, verbal communication, or just unpredictable moods, your staff may feel uncertain about how you feel about them or value them, pushing them to feel intimidated by you. It might be something you’re not noticing but if you demean your employees by prioritising profit over their wellbeing, are unapproachable, or take your anger out on them and insist you’re always right, you’re not doing yourself, your staff, or your business any favours.

Intimidation can get things done, but it’s most definitely the wrong way to go about it, no matter the situation.

Signs that you may be intimidating

When your staff feel uneasy around you, it isn’t always obvious. To you, a quiet room may just be one where everyone’s paying attention to something else, but it can be a glaring red flag for anyone paying close enough attention.

Here are some signs that you come off as an intimidating boss: 

• You’re the only one talking at meetings – Instead of having a collaborative conversation with your team, no one really weighs in, brings up their ideas, or challenges yours. When you say something, the response from your employees is always just quiet nodding or affirmation. They don’t express their views or opinions, nor do they give you feedback, which can be dangerous if your idea truly won’t fly and everyone’s too afraid to push back. 
• Their body language seems defensive – Observe their body language, is it open or closed? Do they make eye contact with you? Do your employees seem nervous when they speak to you and try to cut the conversation short? Have you noticed that they avoid you in common spaces and that rooms go quiet when you arrive? 
• Despite an open door policy, they avoid asking you for help – Even if you keep repeating that they’re welcome to come to you for any problems, they’ve never once knocked at your door to talk or ask for help. Sometimes some employees will even ask another co-worker to deliver a message to you instead of doing it themselves. 
• They constantly apologise – Even without prompting or knowing if they actually did anything wrong, your employees may apologise to you profusely. They’ll say sorry for the smallest things, whether or not you bring it up. 
• Nobody volunteers out of fear of making a mistake – What you may be mistaking for a lack of enthusiasm is actually fear. It’s not that they don’t have the initiative, it’s that your staff is too scared to make mistakes and get berated by you. 

What you can do to be less intimidating

As a business leader, you need to step up and work on yourself if you think you’re intimidating your staff. You can’t just coax them into thinking otherwise and refuse to change, it has to come from you. 

Your staff will respond better to a leader who is self-aware of their image and actions. They’ll appreciate your effort to make them feel comfortable and like they really can contribute to the conversation you’re trying to put forward.

Here are a few things you can do to work on being less intimidating: 

• Hire a business coach or advisor – A good business coach won’t be afraid to be honest with you, unlike your staff, and you’ll need that total honesty in order to figure out how you can work on yourself. They can have confidential conversations with your team to gain some more insight into what exactly intimidates your staff and their experience will help you adjust your leadership style to one that’s warmer and more accommodating. 
• Be mindful around junior staff – Junior staff are young and still exploring their career paths and will automatically find you more intimidating because of your power and position (as well as other senior members). Be more patient around them, make sure you welcome them, and remember that you were a junior once and it took you some time to adjust to the role, too. 
• Take note of how you express yourself – Remember that communication isn’t just verbal, it’s also in your facial expressions, your tone of voice, volume, and even written communication. If you’ve noticed you come off harsh, scowl a lot, or even raise your voice even without meaning to, it’s time to be more deliberate in your actions and soften how you communicate. Try to keep any negative or constructive feedback to face-to-face interactions, as well, as they’re easy to misconstrue over texts or emails.
• Smile and praise your team more – Acknowledging your team for their work is important because you want them to feel good and proud about themselves and what they’ve done. It will boost their morale and feel like they’re making significant contributions to your business. Apologise to them if you’ve wronged them and congratulate them when they’re in the right. Remember that you need to be accountable for your actions. 
• Give your team your full attention when needed – Instead of just brushing your staff off or multi-tasking when they’re trying to talk to you, make sure that you’re listening and connecting with them. They’ll be grateful that you’re engaging with them and being respectful of what they have to say.
• Let your team speak up at meetings – Instead of taking the helm at every meeting and dominating them with your voice, allow your team to be heard by dividing up the responsibilities and reports. Let them talk about their ideas and encourage them to share, even and especially when they disagree with what you say. 
• Keep your frustrations to yourself and be mindful of your mood – Even you would be wary around someone who seems frustrated since they might just take it out on you. It’s not bad to be open about your emotions, but you don’t want to drive your staff away by wearing your anger on your sleeve where they can see or hear you. Keep them private, be polite, and compose yourself. Being aware of your mood is important so you don’t walk into a meeting looking angry. Take the time to calm down before engaging with others.
• Listen to feedback – Feedback can be rare because people don’t always want to challenge your authority, so if you shut it down then you lose out on the chance of improving. Being open to it and listening well, even if you disagree, is a sign of goodwill and lets your employees know they can trust you. 
• Take the time to build relationships – You should be doing this from the very onset of their employment, but it’s never too late to start. You may feel frazzled trying to run your business, but carving out time to get to know your staff and show them they’re valued should be one of the things you prioritise. 

Business can be taxing and that’s more than understandable, but letting it get to you and your relationships with your staff can be damaging if it goes too far. Your employees are the life of your business, and you need them to feel confident and valued. By analysing yourself and how you come off, you can make the necessary changes to give them the space to grow and collaborate.

Intimidation is never a good leadership strategy, even if you don’t mean to come off imposing and as someone your staff needs to be wary of. You need to make the extra effort to be accommodating, warm, and approachable to best boost morale and set your business up for success.

If you want to learn more about being an inspiring leader over an intimidating one, give us a call.