Negative feedback can be hard to stomach, especially as a business leader. When you’re in a leadership position, it can make you doubt yourself, your decisions, and your actions because you’re not sure if you’re steering your business in the right direction and it can be disheartening.

But it doesn’t have to be framed that way. In no way is your staff member who gave you that feedback trying to discourage you or say you’re failing the business. Instead, they’re brave enough to step up and tell you that there can be something you can change or do better to improve the business.

Negative feedback isn’t meant to put you down, instead they’re observations that show that someone’s invested enough to want the business and its processes to be better. It’s not coming from an ill-intentioned place. It’s a way of saying that things could be more effective. And that comment or remark can make a difference in how your company performs. 

Responding to negative feedback can also make or break your relationships with your staff. If you take it the wrong way and let your immediate feelings cloud your judgment, it can make things awkward. But if you take a second, understand where they’re coming from, and respond in a level-headed manner, you can retain or even improve a relationship with your staff member.

Negative feedback from staff is meant to build you up, just as positive feedback does. It just doesn’t come in the same package. Still, it’s a way for you to improve and better your business.

Why don’t we like negative feedback?

When you think you’re in the right and someone points out you’re in the wrong, it feels bad. You have a personal connection with your business. It’s something you built, believed in, and had a vision for. You don’t want anyone saying that the very thing you care for and have invested in is flawed.

Negative feedback leads to negative feelings. Frustration and disappointment can overwhelm your thoughts and bring you down.

In fact, it can make you overly-defensive and shut out what people are trying to tell you. You snap and your communication skills and active listening skills switch off. You become a bad example to your staff members in terms of receiving feedback and you definitely don’t want that.

How we respond to comments and remarks that make us feel bad makes all the difference between just another boss and an inspiring leader. You close communication versus being transparent and understanding, you demand that you’re right rather than consider that something can be improved on, and you refuse to engage in collaborative and helpful dialogue.

A real leader does actively listen, knows how to respond once they’ve collected their thoughts, and consider themselves as part of the team that can also make mistakes and can improve, as well. 

5 ways to handle negative feedback

Receiving negative feedback can be difficult but here are five ways to handle it. 

1. Stay calm and breathe 

Reining in instinctive, defensive, and angry emotions is a requirement for any CEO, director, or equity partner. A leader needs to be a good example and showing that restraint is key. 

Giving yourself a second to relax and ruminate on what’s being said can help you overcome the initial flood of negative emotions and defensiveness. A leader needs to keep their emotions in check and to do that they need to stay calm and take a breath. 

Your ability to listen worsens when you let your emotions control you and stop using your logic. Instead of focusing on what you’re being told, you become absorbed by how you feel. It takes a lot of processing to understand what’s being said and you need to actively listen rather than try to shut it out.

You have to remember that it’s nothing personal, no matter how you feel about the business. There’s nothing wrong with you and you shouldn’t take it that way. It just means some things weren’t optimised or didn’t go right with how you ran your project or your team. It’s not an attack on your character, but rather a way to right things when they go wrong. 

Separate your personal feelings from the work you do and you’ll better receive what’s being fed back. 

2. Thank the person for the feedback 

Remember that giving feedback is difficult in itself, especially to someone that a staff member considers their supervisor. It’s hard enough to tell a fellow team member how they can improve, even more so when telling someone higher-up than they are. 

The fact that the feedback was given at all shows that a staff member truly cares about the company, its projects, and processes. They want to see improvements made and want the business to succeed which you should be thankful for.

Thanking the person for their feedback shows that you’re listening, that you’re attentive to how they want you and your business to improve, and don’t take it personally.

It’ll also ease the pressure off this person because it takes a lot of courage to bring it up, especially if they anticipate that you won’t respond well. They overcame their own discomfort and were brave enough to approach you about what they didn’t find as effective.

And remember that giving feedback to your own staff can be challenging. You have to be vulnerable, listen well, and have the emotional intelligence to do it. So just as it’s scary for you to criticise your staff, remember how much more tense they feel when they have to do it to you.

3. Take time to respond 

Sorting out your emotions and thoughts can take time but it’s crucial that you do it. Pause and reflect on what you’ve done and what could’ve been done better or differently. Doing this helps you see the bigger picture and address your errors.

Time can definitely help you think clearer. If you’re the type of person that needs a few days to process, then take those few days to do it. It’s unhealthy to try and act while you’re still feeling volatile emotions. You are under no obligation to answer right away or have an immediate conversation with your staff member. Let them know you’ll get back to them, be polite, and take all the time you need.

By giving yourself time, you have a better understanding of not just why you feel hurt or defensive. Sometimes it’s because you feel so personally close to the business, other times you feel incapable of making errors. Either way, it’s good to take that time to look into yourself and figure out what’s bothering you.

4. Get more insight

Analysing where the feedback came from is crucial, as well. Is it just a passing observation or something your team member has been sitting on? From what perspective did it come from? What prompted it? Did you do or say something that could’ve been taken the wrong way?

Understanding the context and gathering more information about where they’re coming from can help you better understand what they’re saying and why. 

Having a close-knit group of people who can be honest with you can help you dissect what went wrong and why and how you can remedy the situation. They can also be upfront about how you’re acting and how your staff is reacting to it. It might be potentially hurtful to hear, but it’s a good way to figure out how you can improve your attitude and how you treat your staff.

If you put yourself in the shoes of the person who gave you that negative feedback, you can try to see how things played out from their perspective and see where you could’ve gone wrong and how they would have interpreted it. 

5. Demonstrate you have heard and acted on the feedback 

By taking action and showing that you’re listening to the feedback, your team will be more appreciative of you and what you’re doing to improve not just yourself but also the business. Negative feedback from staff can be disarming but it doesn’t mean you can’t equip yourself with the right tools to turn it around.

By showing your team that you’ve acknowledged what they said, they will feel better about themselves and will make them feel as if they aren’t just talking to someone who won’t listen. They’ll also look up to you because you’re capable of accepting criticism and admitting fault, allowing them to think that they can do the same and still take action to remedy the situation.

And by showing that vulnerability and ability to listen, relate to, and see things from their point of view, you demonstrate that you’re an emotionally intelligent leader with empathy who cares about their staff. 

Negative feedback can be difficult to swallow because it makes you feel as if you fell short. But, in reality, it’s just as important as positive feedback because it helps you build your business, better yourself as a leader, and strive for success in the face of adversity. Mistakes are unavoidable, and being told that you’ve made one shows that your staff cares about you and the longevity of the business.

If you are ready to step up and be the best leader you can be, give us a call.